Change occurs “gradually, then suddenly.”
– Ernest Hemingway
So it’s been three months since I started HRT, and much has happened during this time. As much as I wish things would move at a more speedy pace, I am truly amazed at how quickly things have changed. That might sound like a bit of an oxymoron, but it isn’t.
On a day to day basis, changes are very minimal, and often not apparent to the naked eye. However, looking at the changes over the course of a month or more, they quickly become undeniable.
The biggest changes for me have been: Boobs, Butt, and the thinning of body hair.
My rear has rounded out a lot. It’s really noticeable when I wear my old jeans, as they are much tighter than they once were.
I wrote a month and half ago that I was as flat chester as ever, this is no longer the case. I am happy to report, that I officially have little A-cups. Nothing crazy, but I love them regardless. The goal is a B-cup. Being as skinny as I am, anything more might look a bit silly.
I have also been noticing that the hair on my arms has gotten much lighter, and is growing slower. I think my leg hair is also growing slower, though it isn’t as apparent.
I have also been told that my skin is much softer – I can’t really tell. I can say, that my skin has cleared up a fair bit though.
I have change a fair bit emotionally. I feel I experience things much more intensely. I think part of it is just allowing myself to experience emotions, rather than trying to bury them.
I am told that I am more loving, and will admit that I am much more likely to cry when I see, or read something sad.
Psychologically I feel much better than I did this time a year ago. For one, I am happy to report that I haven’t had a panic attack since the middle of June. That’s roughly seven months. Of course I can’t contribute that all to HRT, but it certainly plays a part.
I still have my struggles with anxiety, but it is nowhere near as bad as it once was.
I am in the process of coming-out at work. I first approached our HR manager before the holidays, and I was informed yesterday that the big boss has been briefed on my intent to transition on the job. So, I should find myself in a meeting with local management very soon to discuss the details of how we will proceed.
The company holiday party is next week, so all of the players will be in town, including my HR contact, and the big boss. So next week should be very interesting.
Medically, I have my next doctor’s appointment in two weeks, and a follow up two weeks after that. I am really curious to see where my levels are at.
I really need to figure out what I am going to do about my voice. I think it’s my biggest tell, not that I am trying to hide who I am, but being able to fly under the radar provides a sense of security. Voice training is an option, though I don’t feel I have had much success with this thus far. I am not sure a surgical solution is an option, as it is rather cost prohibitive.
Speaking of surgery, I do plan to have a surgery this year. Something called a “trachea shave.” In layman’s terms, this is the reduction in size of the Adam’s Apple. The Adam’s Apple is cartilage on the outside of the voice box. This is done via a small incision under the chin. They go in through this incision and shave the cartilage down in size. Results depend on the size of the Adam’s Apple, and how much material they can safely remove.
I feel having this surgery would help me further reduce my anxiety level, as this is a major visual source of dysphoria for me.